oliver saria

Al Roker Resembles Own Scrotum

NYC, NEW YORK - Al Roker, beloved weatherman of NBC’s Today Show, came to the stunning realization on Tuesday that he now resembles his own scrotum. The acknowledgement came 9 months after gastric bypass surgery yielded dramatic weight loss totaling nearly 100 lbs. Such striking reduction in the body mass index (BMI) often causes an excess of skin. This side-effect, coupled with pronounced wrinkling over his sagging, pear-shaped body, has transformed him into, as he described it, “a walking pair of testicles.” Though dismayed, an ever-jovial Roker explained, “When I got the surgery, I was hoping I’d once again see my genitals, not look like them.” Doctors advised Roker that once his weight stabilizes he could opt for cosmetic surgery to remove the drooping sacks of flesh. A laughing Roker quipped, “Yeah, but if I do that, Doc, where will my balls hang from?”